I've thought a lot about that moment over the past week, first when I heard the rumor of layoffs at my company, and then again this past Monday when I found out that I was among those being discarded. It didn't take very long for me to feel like Monday was a kind of Emancipation Day. In fact, one night over the weekend, prior to Emancipation Day, I was awake for awhile during the wee hours and I realized that I was feeling anxious about NOT being laid off. What if I had to stay at the company while someone else got laid off?? The prospect of that was way too much to bear, thus the insomnia.
When I woke up this morning, I had the Emmylou Harris/Patty Griffin duet "Way Beyond The Blue" echoing in my head. What's not to love about hearing those gals' voices upon awakening?! Then these cascading layers of colored ideas flew through my head, about a book I could write, about a blog I could start (DONE!), about all the amazing people I've known at various jobs across the country, about how I could turn my resume into a show-stopper, about what if I never have another corporate job again because I'll figure out how to do something different, amazing, and very much me.
At lunchtime, I drove into the city to hear this week's installment of the Bach Harpsichord Partita series at my wife's church. As I was sitting there, in this stunning chapel,
listening to the plinky pluck of the harpsichord, I started thinking about vibrations, about how that's all music, or any sound is, moving the air in a certain way. Stringed instruments have to be rubbed or struck or plucked or hammered to make noise. And what lovely noise this music was. And then I realized my heart was thundering in my chest. And I looked up at the rows of female saints sculpted out of marble on the altar,
You may think this is the end, but it's only the beginning.
I love your voice. As Steve Dale said to me after I finally listened to him and launched a blog: Welcome to the blogosphere!
ReplyDeletetake three: the divine disclosure (I AM ALIVE)
ReplyDelete